Two Weeks Later...

So it's been a little over two weeks since the surgery, and I finally feel like I can update this a bit.

Surgery went well.  I haven't had a lot of pain.  Honestly the worst pain I had was in the back of my head and for two weeks no one could tell me why that was.  It was a spot about an inch high and two to three inches wide and I couldn't stand for anyone to touch it.  Yesterday I was rubbing that spot and realized I had ALL new hair growth there!  At some point during surgery it seems they pulled a whole ponytail out of the back of my hair. I can't figure what that was about.  Oh well, it'll all be falling out in a few weeks anyway. 

The first news when I woke up after surgery was NOT what I hoped to hear - they had found cancer in the two lymph nodes they tested during surgery.  I had hoped and prayed that the lymph nodes would be clear.  Because those two had cancer in them, they took the others out for additional testing.  What that means is ANOTHER week of waiting for test results....and a lot of scary thoughts in the days in between.  When you know they only tested two and both were positive you begin to think well, they'll probably all be positive.

I spent the next three days after surgery worrying about the possible results and what it would mean next.  I also had some wonderful friends who visited and did their best to keep my mind occupied and off the dreaded Big C and what it might mean down the road.

Dr. Telepun released me from the hospital on Friday evening and after waiting a couple of hours to get discharged - they asked me if I wanted to just walk out of the hospital rather than wait for a wheelchair.  I said SURE!  So we walked out of the hospital, got in the van and drove toward a new normal for our family.

In her room.

Teresa is in her room (515), and settled in. Still a little woozy, but not in pain. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
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Finished!

Teresa is out of surgery and in recovery. Dr. Telepun said the reconstruction went very well and she was already waking up. If everything goes as planned,Teresa should come home Friday afternoon.

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Halfway There!

Dr Buckner has finished the mastectomies and said everything went well. He believes he got all of it. Dr Telepun has started the reconstruction. It should be another 2 to 3 hours until Teresa is out of surgery. I will post again when she gets out of surgery.

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And so it begins

This is Teresa's husband, Tim. Teresa just went back into surgery. The surgery should take 5-6 hours. I will try to update again as soon as I know anything more. Thank you all for your prayers.

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Made it to the hospital - 2

Instead of spending the morning in a waiting room, Tim and my parents will be in an outpatient room (#277) for the duration of the surgery. The nurse just informed us that Dr. Telepun likes to have his patients families in a room...so maybe it will be little more comfortable for them than sitting in the general waiting area.

Countdown to the big day.

So it's my last night with the killer boobs.  I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that part of this journey.  It's honestly the least worrisome part of it all.  The scarier part is after they're removed...what next?

In the past 10 days I've had every emotion imaginable. I've been angry and rebellious - getting my first ever tattoo, and pink highlights in my blonde hair.  I've tried to find the places to laugh (asking Dr. Telepun if I could store paperclips on the magnets in my tissue expanders - he didn't laugh) and tried really hard not to cry too much.  I've learned that I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ever want and sometimes the family you create for yourself out of love and trust really can fill in the gaps when you don't have siblings.

I've learned that new friends can hold your hand over the phone and give you a sense of peace for the first time in many days with a simple, heartfelt prayer.  Old friends can help hold you up in prayer and show you how much they love and care for  you by allowing you to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon in the warmth of their home.  There are those friends that are far away . - but always near a phone and willing to listen. There are the ones you work with and spend much of your waking hours with - who make the best cheerleaders and comforters.

I am grateful for every one of you.  You all have helped make the past days easier to get through and I love you for being patient with my rants, tears and fears. The ones of you that have prayed with me and for me mean so very much.

I have spent several mornings reading a book by Stormie O'Martian called Just Enough Light for the Step I'm on.   It speaks directly to where I am right now.  I've struggled with my relationship with God in recent years and prayed that God would help me find a way through my anger and frustration back to him.  Now having to trust that God will put me in the right place and guide my steps over the coming days, weeks and months I believe has put me on that path.  I had such a good conversation with a sweet friend this morning about how at different times everyone struggles with this.  It helped me put things into perspective.

That said, I'd like to close this post with the text from the first page of this book:
Sometimes only the step I'm on, or the very next one ahead, is all that is illuminated for me.  God gives me just the amount of light I need for the exact moment I need it. At those times I walk in surrender to faith, unable to see the future and not fully comprehending the past.  And because God has given me what light I have, I know I must reject the fear and doubt that threaten to overtake me.  I must determine to be content where I am, and allow God to get me where I need to go. I walk forward one strep at a time, fully trusting that the light God sheds is absolutely sufficient. 

Tomorrow is another step....the next step will depend on how the mastectomy and lymph node dissections go.