How did I get here?

So why a blog?  Well, I'm having a double mastectomy on Tuesday and we were trying to come up with a good way for Tim to let a rather long list of people know how things were going before, during and after surgery. I looked at some of those sites like CaringBridge but they all seemed so serious.  Yes, I know...breast cancer IS serious.  But that doesn't mean there can't be at least a bit of smirk to go with it - right?

So I decided I'd just start a blog and Tim can login to it and update it on Tuesday. In the mean time I can explain what's going on and how I got here. 

Over the past couple of months I've had some occasional breast soreness. I didn't think much of it since it seemed to follow along with my monthly cycle and I'm getting oh so close to the age at which women go through "the change" that I figured stuff was just starting to break.  As far as self exams go, I do those, but it's rather difficult since I had a breast reduction about 19 years ago and have a lot of scar tissue - there's just lots of lumps and bumps and it's hard to discern what is new and what's normal.

I decided to call my surgeon, Dr. Buckner and schedule a mammogram since I was about 8 months late getting my annual one.  I went in to see him on Wednesday, February 8 and he did an ultrasound of the lump I'd found in my left breast and said he didn't feel it was anything to be concerned about, but wanted an updated mammogram and then we'd do another ultrasound to be sure.  The mammogram was on Monday, February 13. 

Mammograms seem to be some sort of punishment that were designed by satan himself.  I can only imagine that if this was the only method to find out if a man had testicular cancer - well, they would have found a better way by now.  I always find it odd that they get you all wedged into that thing, get you clamped down and say "don't move" - exactly where might I wander off to - shirtless and minus one boob?  Anyway, the lady performing the mammogram seemed particularly concerned about how soon I might be going back to the doctor and that was enough for me to call and immediately schedule an appointment to review the results with Dr. Buckner.

I saw Dr. Buckner again on Wednesday, February 15 - he said both he and the radiologist felt like I had breast cancer. He performed a needle biopsy and I left his office and sat in my car and cried like I hadn't cried in years.  A million things going through my head, and at this point it hadn't even been confirmed.  Dr. Buckner called me on Friday, February 17 and confirmed that the lump was ductal carcinoma....breast cancer.

Dr. Buckner told me I had three surgical options - lumpectomy, mastectomy with or without reconstruction. I told him I had decided on a double mastectomy with reconstruction at the same time. He assured me he would get me in with the plastic surgeon, Dr. Telepun as soon as possible. Within an hour his nurse called me to confirm an appointment with Dr. Telepun on Monday, February 20.

I spent that afternoon telling my parents and trying to decide if I was more angry, sad or scared. At dinner that night I settled on angry and decided to get a tattoo.  Tim and I looked at a couple of tattoo shops that night and I didn't find anything I liked particularly well in the pink ribbon category - they were all sort of one dimensional and ugly. So I came home tattoo-less that Friday night.
 
I saw Dr. Telepun on Monday and we talked through the options for reconstruction, settling on a procedure using tissue expanders that would later be replaced by implants.  By Tuesday we had a surgery date and since then I've met with both surgeons again to confirm the plans.

Just in case you're not keeping up with the timeline...My first appointment with Dr. Buckner was on a Wednesday,  less than 3 weeks later I'll be boob-less and hopefully cancer-free.